


The Story of Jane and Antoinette

by OriginofChaos



Series: AUs [6]
Category: Smosh
Genre: Gen, Gender or Sex Swap, Out of Character, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:10:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3894184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OriginofChaos/pseuds/OriginofChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day Ian woke up and saw a pretty girl… in the mirror.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone.  
> If you follow my fics on Tumblr (And I'd be surprised if you really do), you may read this one. I decided to put it here. I have a slight writer's block so I don't know when new chapters will be, but they certainly will.  
> And... Enjoy, I guess.

A high-pitched girl’s scream rang in every corner of the house. Anthony woke up and winced. The voice was still screaming and swearing, so there were no chances to fall asleep again. Considering that, Anthony went out of his room and headed to the Ian’s room. He was very sleepy and anger heated him up with every second.

“Ian! Did you bring a girl…? Wait…” Anthony felt like his voice wasn’t his. He cleared his throat and put his hand on it.

Scream stopped and the door to Ian’s room opened. Anthony saw a beautiful girl went out of his best friend’s room. She had thick goldenish brown hair reaching her gentle shoulders. Her hands slipped from her rosy cheeks down to her little but good-looking breasts, almost invisible under big Ian’s T-shirt, when she faced Anthony. Her big blue eyes were wide open in terror and her pink soft lips parted. ‘Wow,’ Anthony thought and felt his heart pound.

“And you! They did it with you too, Anthony!!!” she screamed again.

“Wha… How did you–” Anthony cleared his throat again. “– know my name?

“Anthony, it’s me, Ian!” she yelled. “And you’re a girl too!!!

"You don’t mean it,” he smiled, but it faded as he looked down. He was faced pretty big naked breasts on his chest.

“I do, and for God’s sake, cover up!”

Anthony was shocked. He started to touch his new body to make sure that he’s not dreaming. To his disappointment, he was totally awake.

"If I had dick now, I’d have a boner,” Ian tried to joke.

“But how?” Anthony shouted and covered his tits with his arms. “Who did it? Why?”

"If only I knew…” whispered Ian. “I just woke up, went to the bathroom and saw this in the mirror.”

"Dude… Maybe you made a wish when you saw shooting star or something…” he immediately felt awkward about stupidity of this version, but he was sure that everything could be possible since the impossible thing had already happened.

“If I’d done that, I’d have wished it only for myself, duh! Or only for you. But not for both of us!”

"True. Right…” Anthony frowned. “I guess we stuck in these bodies for a long time…”

"You’re such a pessimist,” Ian chuckled.

“Shut up. I’ll get dressed, and you go get some food since you already have some clothes on. And we’ll think about all this ridiculousness later. Okay?”

"Alright. Now go and dress yourself, my pretty Antoinette!”

"I’m not yours,” mumbled Anthony and went in his room.

In his room Anthony decided to pay some attention to his new body and look closer at it. He opened his cupboard and stood in front of big mirror. First thing he noticed was his breasts. They were big as he noticed before, but nipples were relatively small. He traced his hands down and squeezed them to check if they real. They definitely felt like ones, and he felt warmth and throbbing in his crotch. That was awkward. He turned around to see the rest of his body. It was slim, athletic, and definitely attractive, not to say sexy. This picture was spoiled with his boxers that awkwardly wobbled. Anthony remembered that he had some ‘trophy’ thongs from his ex-girlfriend but it was somewhat disgusting to wear them, especially he knew that he hadn’t washed them. He sighed and decided to pay more attention to his face. His haircut was almost the same as he had before but it was a bit longer and shaped slighly different. He’d got plump dark pink lips and almond brown eyes, but his nose was disproportionally big. However, it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Anthony! Did you die or what?” he heard unfamiliar voice of his best friend.

“Coming!”

He put on his jeans and Triforce T-shirt. This outfit was too big for him since he had delicate girl’s body, but he obviously had no choice.

“We’ve gotta go shopping, man. We need some clothes and maybe some make-up,” Anthony announced as he went to the living room to Ian.

“Are you sure you wasn’t a girl before you get this body?” Ian chuckled.

“Fuck you,” Anthony groaned. “All our clothes are too big for us, didn’t you notice?”

"I did. However, you still didn’t sound like Anthony but more like Antoinette. Anyway,” Ian made a sip of his tea. “I ordered a pizza. Is it okay?”

"Yup. And, dude, by the way, my eyes are up here.”

Ian was confused and looked away blushing. ‘That’s so adorable,’ Anthony thought and mentally slapped himself. It was still his best friend despite he was in woman body.

"Right, we actually need to talk about all this… stuff,” Anthony said. “So, how do you think, what happened?”

"We became girls somehow, duh,” Ian answered.

“No, I mean, why?”

"Anthony,” Ian looked straight in Anthony’s eyes, “If only I knew that, I’d already told you a plan how we should act to get our bodies back. But I’m as confused as you are. However, we can think about possible reasons.”

"Okay,” Anthony pondered. “We could be cursed by someone. We could wish it. We could be struck by lightning or electricity–”

"–Or Pikachu,” Ian finished. “Man, that’s all sounds so absurd. Who could curse us, except some creepy stranger? But we barely went out for a few days. I didn’t wish it at all. And we should’ve been struck both at the same time, but yesterday was calm, and neither I nor you had any business with electricity.”

"I don’t know then,” Anthony sighed and closed his eyes. “Maybe the reason will come up sooner or later…”

"But that doesn’t mean that we should give up until we know the reason, right?” Ian asked at the same time the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.”

As Ian made his way to the door, Anthony was thinking about this entire situation. He had so many questions and no answers at all. Why did it happened to them? How long will it last? Why them but not someone else? What should they do to get back? Anthony felt dizzy for a moment and shook his head. He was distracted of his heavy thoughts when he heard the door shut pretty rough and Ian came in with unpleasant grimace.

"This douche was flirting with me! He didn’t even look straight on my face!” he shouted. “What the hell?”

"Well, maybe because you’re quite attractive girl?” Anthony suggested.

“Who? Me? Fine, whatever. We’ve got our pizza at least.”

"Listen,” Anthony said as he opened the box. “Maybe we should call Mari? To help us with all of this girls’ stuff.”

"So you do really think we stuck for long?”

"I don’t know but… You never know for sure. It could be only for today, or for a week, or for a month… Or… for years… Or…” Anthony almost whispered. “Forever…”

"You’re too pessimistic. But I think calling Mari is a good idea. Should we invite her?”

"Yeah. I’ll text her.”

"By the way, Anthony,” Ian asked. “What are we gonna do with Smosh? I don’t think that we can continue it while we are… like that.”

"Oh shit, Ian… I think… I don’t know, maybe we should stop it until it’s over? Or if we won’t be able to return our bodies back, we could start some kind of new Smosh or something.”

"Damn girl body!” Ian hit the wall behind him and whimpered.

“Whoa, dude, calm down! The wall didn’t do anything bad to you,” Anthony snickered but immediately felt worried when he heard Ian hissed in pain.“What happened?”

“I think… I hurt my knuckles. Fuck… I have too tender hands!” he rubbed injured hand.

Anthony spotted a few tears formed in the corners of Ian’s eyes when his phone vibrated.

“Mari will come in 2 hours. Let’s go, I’ll put a bandage on your hand.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sudden knock at the door broke the heavy silence the boys, or girls, to be precise, were in. Ian sighed and got up.

“I’ll get it.”

There was Mari behind the door. ‘Finally’, Ian thought and opened it.

“Hi, Mari. Come in.”

"Hi… Have we seen each other before?” she asked shyly. “Are you Anthony’s girlfriend?

"No, stop it!” Ian yelled, but apologised quickly. “Sorry, I just… Just come in.”

Mari nervously proceeded to the living room and glanced at Anthony.

"Erm… Where are Ian and Anthony? They invited me, so I didn’t expect to see… you…” she mumbled.

“Oh, yeah,” Anthony coughed. “Mari, here’s the thing…”

"We _are_ Ian and Anthony,” Ian finished.

Mari just stood speechless and looked at them in horror.

“Wait… It’s just some kind of a joke, right?” she smiled. “Ian! Anthony! Where are you?”

"Right in front of you,” Anthony sighed.

“Girls, it’s not funny…”

"And we’re not joking,” Ian growled. “How can we prove it to you? We’re standing in front of you in our clothes which become huge and don’t fit us at all and fucking scared.”

"But how could I believe you? You may be pranking me or something.”

"Okay,” Anthony tried to recall something. “Remember when we went to a fair? You twisted your ankle and we had to carry you home. Your boyfriend had almost killed me because he thought you were cheating on him with me.”

"Or when you spotted me being forcefully kissed by random drunk girl? You made a perfect scene like you were my girlfriend, and she slapped my face for some reason. Remember?” Ian asked.

“I… I do…“ Mari mumbled.

"And why do you think I freaked out when you referred to me as Anthony’s girlfriend, huh?” he continued.

“All right, I believe you… Kind of,” Mari whispered. “But… How?”

"We don’t know. We just woke up and voilà. Actually,” Anthony rubbed the back of his neck, “we asked you to come to help us with all girls’ stuff. We thought we should go and buy some clothes and make-up in case we stay like this for long…”

"You thought,” Ian corrected.

“Shut up. And also we wanted to know how behave ourselves, how to deal with–” Anthony squeezed his boobs. “–this, and… you know… periods…”

"You guys already have periods?” Mari laughed.

“I don’t know about Antoinette, but I don’t,” Ian smiled. “You can expect from her anything, by the way.”

"I don’t have either,” Anthony frowned.

“I believe you,” Mari smiled. “Oh, by the way, have you decided what are you going to do with Smosh? We planned to shoot Game Bang tomorrow, remember?”

"We thought we should suspend Smosh by now,” Ian’s voice cracked as he found it difficult to say this. “We can’t do this like that, you know. We can’t even shoot an apologising video!”

"You can still announce it in your Twitter, you know…” she suggested.

“That’s an idea!” Anthony’s face brightened a bit. “And you can mention that again in Game Bang.”

"So we should tell others the news, I guess,” Ian sighed. “And make up some lie to tell our fans. Skype, anyone?”

"Bring it on,” Mari exclaimed.

 

“Gentlemen,” Mari began, facing Lasercorn, Jovenshire and Sohinki on the Ian’s laptop screen. Ian and Anthony stayed away of the sight of the web cam. “I’ve got some tragic news. Ian and Anthony won’t be with us tomorrow.”

“What happened?” Joven asked.

“Well… There are no Ian and Anthony any more. There are Jane and Antoinette.”

"Jane?” Ian asked.

“At least it sounds similar to your name!”

"Wait, Mari,” Sohinki interrupted her. “What do you mean by it? And who was it?”

"I present to you Ian and Anthony in their current… state. Say hello to our crew, guys,” Mari turned the laptop to Ian and Anthony.

“Hi,” they waved to web cam, smiling shyly.

There were some ‘wow’’s and exciting whistles as Smosh Games crew saw them.

“So you are Ian and Anthony?” Joven asked, still shocked. “For real?”

"Yes, they are,” Mari said. “I didn’t believe it at first either.”

"It worked,” Anthony heard Lasercorn whispering. “It fucking worked.”

"What worked?” he asked angrily.

“N-nothing…”

"Laser-fucking-corn!” Anthony shouted in rage. “What the fuck worked?! And if you don’t tell me, you’ll get the black eye and broken nose, I swear!”

"You’re kinda cute when angry,” Ian mumbled.

“Shut up!!! David? You wanna get beaten by a girl so bad?”

"Look, Mari,” Ian chuckled. “Anthony’s already considering himself as a girl.”

"Shut the fuck up, Ian, or you’ll get black eye too!!!”

Everyone stared at Anthony in horror. Nobody, even Ian, have seen Anthony such angry. Even when Ian accidentally broke his favourite Gameboy that he held dear (they remembered that night as The Great Gameboy Freak-Out), he wasn’t so pissed off.

"Well…” Lasercorn shivered uncomfortably. “I guess, I kinda… Wished it…”

"What?!”

"I wished it, okay? I thought it’d have been fun if Mari hadn’t be the only girl in our crew. And fans could ship Iancorn without us being gay.”

"You son of a bitch!” Anthony’s eyes lost their warm brown colour and became pitch black. “Wish it off, right now!”

"I can’t!” David whispered. “I didn’t even know how and why it worked, it was just a stupid shooting star wish.”

"Okay, but why us?” Ian asked.

“Yeah, why? Because of you we can’t shoot our regular videos, let alone the 2nd channel videos and fucking everything!” Anthony screamed.

“I don’t know, I thought I’d be fun!”

"Fun, huh?” Anthony’s voice suddenly became quiet. “Fun. Ian, did you hear that? Fun. Fun!!! I swear, I’ll kill you, I’ll destroy you, I’ll exterminate you!!!”

Mari giggled quietly, hearing unintended reference to her favourite show but went silent as she met Anthony’s raging gaze.

"Please don’t!” Lasercorn begged. “I’ll… I’ll do everything to fix that, I promise!”

"You better do, bitch. You better do.”

Anthony stood up and left to his room. Everyone sighed in relief when they heard the door shut.

"At least you don’t freak out,” Sohinki mumbled.

“But that doesn’t mean that I’m not angry, you know,” Ian stated. “But at least we finally know the reason. All right, I guess, we need to give Anthony some time to recover after his hysteria. Now I want you to help me to come up with an excuse to our fans. We definitely can’t show up like this, because it wouldn’t be fun at all!” he raised his voice when he referred to David. “So… Could you please help me?”

 

"Hey…”

Anthony whimpered and buried his face in his pillow.

"Dude, listen…”

Ian approached Anthony’s bed and sat on its edge. He heard quiet sobs from Anthony and put his hand on his shoulder.

"I know you don’t feel good about all that. Me neither, actually. But please, calm down. Everything will be fine sooner or later.”

"You sure?” Anthony raised his head to face Ian. His eyes were wet, bloodshot and puffy.

“Yeah. Come here,” Ian opened his arms for a hug. Anthony pulled himself to Ian’s welcoming body, put a head on his shoulder and wrapped hands around his waist.

“I don't–” Anthony sobbed. “I feel like I’m a girl, I’m broken, unstable, I’m fucking crying, dude! What if I’m becoming a girl? What if I’ve already become one? I don’t… I don’t want to… I’m a man…”

"You are, you will be…” Ian was swinging back and forth to calm Anthony down. “Just give it some time. Everything will get back to normal, I promise.”

"Ian…” Anthony muffled against his friend’s neck.

“It’s gonna be fine. I’ve posted an apology on our Twitter already. Mari will sleep over here tonight. I’ve talked with her and we arranged the day when we can go shopping. Tomorrow morning she’ll be reading a lecture about bra’s benefits,” Ian chuckled. “We can get some pros from this situation; don’t bring yourself down, okay? I’ll always be by your side, you know that.”

"Ian…” Anthony felt tears falling down again. “You’re the bestest friend in the whole world, do you know that?”

"I do,” Ian smiled. “Go to sleep, man. You need it.”

He tried to stand up but he felt Anthony hugged him tighter.

"Please,” he whispered. “Don’t leave me now.”

"Okay,” Ian said quietly and lay on the bed hugging Anthony. He rocked himself back and forth rubbing his friend’s back soothingly until he heard Anthony stopped sobbing and started breathing steadily.

“Sometimes I wish you actually were a girl,” Ian whispered to himself. “You’re such a cuite as one.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Ant?” Mari asked sleepily as she saw him in his sports outfit stretching.

“Do not call me like that, okay?” he pleaded. “Why are you not sleeping?”

“Why are _you_ not sleeping? You always were sleepyhead, as far as I remember.”

"I’m going jogging. I do for a few months, by the way.”

"Really?” Mari was surprised.

“Yup. It was difficult at the beginning but now I’m used to it,” Anthony straightened up and looked around. “Where’s my iPod… Oh, here it is! I’ll be back in an hour.”

"Wait, are you really going to jog like that?” Mari pointed on Anthony’s breasts that obviously hadn’t had any support.

“Yeah… Why?” Anthony asked suspiciously.

“No, nothing,” Mari chuckled and buried herself in the pillows. “Good luck!”

"Thanks… I guess…”

Half an hour later Ian went in the living room where Mari was still sleeping. His hair was wet since he went out of a shower, but he was fully dressed. He was in a strangely good mood and that was surprising for him. He thought that since he and Anthony had lost the most precious thing in their life, he should be depressed. However, Ian felt really great. He wanted to dance and sing, which was kind of weird for him. But he gave way to his desire and danced around their kitchen, preparing a breakfast for himself. He didn’t sing though because he didn’t want to wake Mari up. But as he accidentally clanged bowls, he heard Mari growling.

"Mornin’. Are you awake already?” Ian asked. “Want some cereal?”

"Uh-huh…” she stood up and trudged herself towards bathroom. Few minutes after she came back into the living room and stretched.

”How’s your second morning as a girl?” she asked.

“You know, not so bad,” he smiled and put bowls with prepared cereal on the table and asked Mari to sit down. “I actually thought it’d be worse. No morning woods and stuff. But it’s a bit awkward to take a shower.”

"I thought so. Did you already touch yourself?” Mari asked casually.

“What?!” he dropped his spoon in the bowl. “Mari! No! How could I?”

“The same way you touched yourself when you were a boy.”

"That’s disgusting!”

"Oh, come on! I don’t believe that you’re so innocent and you thought that girls don’t masturbate.”

"Goddamn it, Mari, stop it!”

"You should try it, though. It may give you more information about your new body.”

"I’ll consider that. Anyway,” Ian glanced on the clock on the wall. “I guess Anthony already went jogging?”

"Yeah, half an hour ago. I think he’ll be back soon.”

"No way, he jogs for an hour at least.”

"You don’t know the truth,” Mari smiled mysteriously.

“Mari!!!” Anthony’s voice growled from the hall.

“Told you,” Mari winked to Ian. “What happened, darling?”

"Why didn’t you tell me about tits?” he asked angrily as he made his way in the living room.

“I tried to drop a hint, but you obviously didn’t catch it.”

"But what happened?” Ian asked again.

“These freaking things,” Anthony squeezed his boobs so much like he wanted to rip them off, “are so freaking bouncy! And it hurts! And all the girls I met giggled at me! And I thought I would go deaf because of the whistles! Why didn’t you tell me about that?”

"And again, I tried,” Mari shrugged. “By the way, I wanted to tell about that in my lecture. Didn’t Ian tell you about it?”

"Yes. Fuck this shit; I’m going in the shower.”

"Will you touch yourself there?” Mari asked innocently.

“Mari!!!” Ian and Anthony screamed in unison frustrated.

“Okay, okay, don’t freak out so much. You two are such girls…”

 

"Welcome to our course ‘Being a girl 101’. I’m really glad to see new attendants here,” Mari glanced on Ian and Anthony who sat in front of her on the couch and tried their best not to laugh. “Today’s lecture will be about bra. You guys have already worn it, haven’t you?”

"I did,” Ian said. “When I played Bella and Hermione. It was so uncomfortable…”

"But you looked kinda hot in it,” Anthony joked.

“Shut up.”

"Anyway,” Mari continued, “There are good and bad news. Ian, I have good news for you. Since you have small boobs, you don’t need to wear bra. As for Anthony, well… Sorry, bro, but your tig ol’ bitties need support.”

"Damn,” Anthony hissed, frowning at radiated Ian’s smile.

“However, Ian can wear bra too, if he doesn’t want his nipples to be shown. But not everyone can feel themselves confident with their nipples showing off the clothing and I don’t think you can. Okay, Antoinette, as for you, bra is necessary thing. Especially while jogging. I think you notice that your boobs were hurt.”

"As hell,” Anthony admitted.

“Thus, you need a special bra for that purpose. Otherwise, you’ll hurt yourself so bad you’ll wish you’ve even born.”

"Really?” Anthony looked scared.

“Well…” Mari pondered. “Almost. But don’t worry, when we go shopping, we’ll choose something good and comfortable for you. Right, girls…”

"Don’t call us like that, please,” Ian begged.

“I will. You should get used to it. Anyway, I have to go, Game Bang shoot is soon, and a long road awaits for me. See you tomorrow!”

 

“Being girl is so hard,” Anthony sighed and handled another bottle of beer to Ian.

“Really? As for me, it’s not that hard,” Ian giggled.

“You don’t have these,” Anthony pointed on his breasts. “And that’s only the beginning. This make-up stuff, bras, uncomfortable fashionable clothes and shoes… And I’m still afraid of periods as fuck.”

“Nobody makes you wear uncomfortable clothes and high heels, okay? You can wear anything you want, unless you want hook up with a guy or something…”

"Dude!”

"Anyway, you get the point. And why are you afraid of periods so much? Maybe we got back our bodies before we have it. Moreover, we are men; maybe we can’t have periods at all even with these bodies? You’ll never know.”

"All right, you persuaded me,” Anthony smiled.

“And… Speaking of…” Ian hesitated. “Maybe we could get our bodies back if we… have… sex…”

"What?!”

"I don’t know, I just… You know, these films and stories, sometimes sex works…”

"Usually it works with body exchange between two characters, but not when they get random bodies. But, I guess…” Anthony shrugged. “We could try. It may work… But you are still my best male friend, wouldn’t it be awkward?”

"It will,” Ian agreed. “But we have girls’ bodies, so we can imagine someone else or something.”

"Alright then, let’s do it,” Anthony stood up and gave Ian a hand. “But no kissing!”

"Actually, I thought that the more intimate sex we have, the more chances of us getting back will be.”

Anthony hesitated for a moment and then nodded.

"Sounds legit,” he said and leaned in to shocked Ian.

Anthony felt soft sweet lips on his, moving rhythmically. He parted his lips, letting Ian push his tongue into his mouth. The kiss was a bit awkward. Sensations weren’t the same as when he kissed girls before, partly because he was now a girl himself. Subconsciously Anthony knew it was wrong because he knew that it wasn’t a girl but his best friend but it felt so perfect. Eventually, he pushed back and whispered.

“My bedroom…”

 

"So… We just had sex…” Ian mumbled, drumming his fingers on blanket, covering him and Anthony.

“Yup.”

"And it felt really good.”

"Definitely.”

"And we’re gay.”

"Squared.”

"Why?” Ian surprised and turned his head to Anthony.

“We are men; that already makes us gay. We had sex with women, which makes us straight, but these women were us, and that’s gay. And now we are both in women bodies, and that makes us lesbian.”

"Yeah. And it obviously didn’t work…”

"Uh-huh…”

"But, maybe effect wouldn’t be instant… I mean, maybe we should fall asleep and when we wake up we’ll be men again…”

"Hope so…”

"Well, I guess, I go to sleep to my bedroom,” Ian trailed his hand down his hair.

“Why not here?” Anthony asked curiously.

“Want to make things more awkward?” Ian giggled.

“How on Earth they could be more awkward than now?” Anthony squinted.

“Don’t underestimate things,” Ian laughed, stood up and led the way to the door.

Anthony looked at Ian who was completely naked. His look trailed down the body that he touched, caressed and kissed a while ago. He felt familiar tingling between his legs and smiled.

“Oh, and, Ian…” he said hurriedly as Ian’s hand touched the doorknob.

“Huh?”

"You have perfect body.”

"More awkward,” Ian smiled and opened the door. “But you know what? You have perfect body too.”


	4. Chapter 4

Ian heard his phone ringing and tried to open his eyes. It turned out to be the most difficult task he’d ever done, but somehow he managed to do that. He reached the phone and answered the call, not looking on the dialler ID.

“Who’s that?” he groaned and fell back on his bed.

“Wakin’ up, sleepyhead!” he heard Mari’s cheerful voice. “We’re going shopping!”

“What time is it?” he mumbled.

“11 in the morning! Come on, get up, it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life!”

“New life has already begun 3 days ago…” he remembered what he and Anthony had done in order to get their bodies back and decided to check if it worked. It didn’t work at all. “And it’s still not over… Wait, what time is it again?”

"11 o'clock…”

"Geez, I’ve slept for 13 hours straight!”

"Whoa, what did you do yesterday that you slept for so long?” Mari chuckled.

“Anthony and I had sex.”

Mari gasped and fell silent for a moment.

"You… did what?”

"We had sex.”

"Congratulations, guys!” she sounded genuinely happy. “I always knew you have feelings towards each other, and you finally realised it! I’m so happy for you two!”

"No, you’re wrong,” Ian interrupted her. “We just thought it’d help us to bring everything back, but it didn’t.”

"So… No Ianthony?” she asked with disappointment.

“No. And never.”

"You’re a killjoy! But still, get up, wake Antoinette up and bring your sleepy asses here. It’s shopping day!”

The line went dead. Ian stretched up and tried to get up from the bed. It turned out to be even harder than opening his eyes earlier. Every cell of his body was telling him that getting up is the most terrible idea he’d ever come up with. All he wanted was stay in the bed all day. Or two. Or three, maybe. Just enjoying the silence of his room and welcoming comfort of his bed. It was much better option than getting up and facing Anthony, let alone spending whole day with him doing something he didn’t love at all. But in reality, he had no options. He just had to do all the things. Ian sighed and tried to squeeze himself out of the bed. When he finally succeeded, he crawled his way to the bathroom, not bothering about him being naked. He felt himself a 5-year-old boy, when he tried to reach a doorknob, but he was too lazy getting up.

Anthony was making a breakfast for him and Ian when he heard strange noises coming from the hallway. Wondering what it could be, he looked out and saw Ian crawling on his stomach.

"The early worm catches… whatever it catches, huh?” he chuckled.

“Shut up,” Ian mumbled. “And don’t look at me. I’m naked.”

"So what? Tell me what I didn’t see yesterday,” he leaned against the wall, admiring the view.

Ian has given up struggles to make his way to the bathroom and let his head fall on the floor.

“You don’t feel awkward at all, do you?” he asked weakly.

“A bit, maybe,” Anthony answered. “Just because I had amazing sex with Jane while you, Ian, were somewhere far-far away. Imagination, my friend.”

"Okay, I get it,” Ian growled and continued crawling.

“Dude, for fuck’s sake, why are you doing this?!” Anthony whined.

“I don’t wanna get up. And I don’t wanna go shopping. I wanna stay home and play, I don’t know, Skyrim, maybe. But Mari is already waiting for us.”

"Do you want to be dragged in the bathroom by me?”

"I’ll do it by myself, okay?” Ian waved his hand in order to stop Anthony who was approaching him.

“Alright,” he shrugged. “C'mon, get shower, I’ll make breakfast for you.”

"You’re so kind,” Ian grinned.

“It’s called manners,” Anthony corrected him going to the kitchen. “You’re a bad person if you don’t make your girlfriend breakfast after the night you had sex.”

"Son of… I’m not your girlfriend!” Ian shouted and heard Anthony’s laugh in return.

Ten minutes later Ian jumped out of the bathroom in a towel habitually wrapped around his hips. He angrily approached their living room and yelled.

“Why on earth did you spend all hot water? I almost froze!”

"Oh. Well…” Anthony awkwardly scratched the back of his neck looking at Ian’s naked breasts. “I was just… enjoying the process…”

"Oh fucking really?” Ian frowned and clenched his fists. “Maybe I wanted to enjoy my shower too, not freeze my balls off!”

"You don’t have any,” Anthony reminded.

“Exactly. I don’t even have them anymore,” Ian confirmed in the most miserable tone Anthony ever heard. “I live the most fucked up life. And stop staring at my boobs, god dammit!”

"I can’t help it,” Anthony smiled.

“God, I hate my life!” Ian growled and went into his room.

“Ian, wait! Have a breakfast at least!” Anthony tried to stop him.

“Help yourself,” Ian shouted and shut the door loudly.

“Ian! I didn’t want to offend you!” Anthony ran to his door and knocked.

“Go away.”

"Ian, please! Come on, come out, have a breakfast. And Mari is waiting for us! I’ll drive if you want. Just please…”

"I call her and tell to go home. I don’t want to go anywhere at all.”

"Oh, come on, man, stop behaving like a little spoiled girl!” Anthony exploded. “Get your ass up and let’s go! Or I’m going to knock the door out!”

"You can try,” Ian said indifferently.

Anthony kicked the door near the doorknob with all the strength he had. It didn’t open the door but he heard the wood cracked. Then he tried more and more, until the door surrendered and opened widely, hitting the wall. Ian stared at him in terror and curved in a ball.

“So did I convince you enough to get the fuck out of the room and stop making Mari wait?” he asked in the calmest tone he could make.

“Y-yes…” Ian nodded.

“Good. Dress up and go. I give you 5 minutes, and the time starts right now.”

Four minutes later Ian’s head had rested on chilled window glass of Anthony’s car. Anthony sat on driver seat and buckled his belt.

"Are you gonna buckle yours?” he asked Ian starting the engine.

“Nah, I’m too lazy to do that,” Ian sighed and closed his eyes.

“So you’re too lazy to save your life?”

"Whatever, man. My life is too fucked up. There won’t be any difference if I’m dead or not. And you’re a careful driver, so I don’t think we can get in an accident.”

"Well, thanks,” Anthony smiled and drove away from the garage. In a couple of seconds, he realised what Ian said and frowned. “Wait, what do you mean by that?”

"It’s not my life. My life was interesting. Busy. Now we have nothing to do. And every fucking thing is strange and awkward. I don’t recognise my voice, because I don’t hear it, I don’t recognise my reflection, because it’s not me. And my best friend is sitting beside me, but I can’t see him but a hot girl who I’d bang. And I’m not offering an intercourse now. I’m sick and tired of it. I just want my life back but it doesn’t seem to return.”

"Dude…” Anthony looked at his friend worriedly. “It’s just the third day, and you already have such thoughts?”

"Uh-huh. 3 days, 3 months – there’ll be no difference,” Ian sighed again. “Anyway, fuck this. I’m gonna sleep.”

"Not until you buckle up.”

"What if I refuse?”

Anthony made sure that no cars were following them and then braked abruptly. Ian had no time to respond so he hit his forehead on the dashboard.

"What was it for?!” he shouted rubbing his forehead.

“It was in order to clear your head of these freaking awful thoughts,” Anthony snapped. “And to demonstrate what would happen to you if you not buckle up.”

"I fucking hate you,” Ian hissed and buckled his belt.

“I love you too,” Anthony smiled. “I’ll wake you up when we arrive.”

 

Ian and Anthony stood outside the mall where Mari should have met them. Anthony was in his phone checking his Twitter while Ian sat on a bench nearby with his arms crossed and stared on asphalt. Finally, Anthony tore his eyes off the screen and looked at his friend.

“To be fair enough,” he began, “You look terrible.”

"Thanks,” Ian growled sarcastically. “This is the best compliment I’ve ever heard.”

"I didn’t mean it,” Anthony corrected himself. “I meant… You’re beautiful, in general, but now you’re fucking scary. It’s like you’re gonna kill someone.”

"Maybe I am,” Ian frowned even more.

“Why?”

"Oh, let me guess,” Ian looked up in the sky as if he was pondering. “Maybe that’s because some jerk spent all hot water and then molested me?!”

"Don’t start it now! I apologised already like a thousand times!” Anthony screamed.

“Can you speak louder? I think that deaf old lady in New York didn’t hear you well.”

"I just tried to brighten your mood but you get moodier whatever I do,” Anthony said disappointed.

“Sorry. I got up on the wrong leg, I guess,” Ian sighed. “Today’s gonna be a bad day. Anyway, never mind.”

“That’s okay, bro,” Anthony smiled and looked back on his phone’s screen.

“Hey, man,” Ian asked when he thought he didn’t like the silence between them. “What are you doing?”

“Finding Twitter questions, finding Twitter questions!” Anthony sang cheerfully, jerking his hand. The old couple walking nearby looked at him oddly, but he didn’t care.

“Ugh, that hurts,” Ian grinned. “I really miss doing this stuff.”

“According to your words, it’s like we already spent years in this… state,” Anthony laughed. “And still, we can still do that, but not for Lunchtime.”

“Okay, ask me!”

“So…” Anthony looked up his feed to find a question. “'Would you rather have big boobs or a tiny dick?’ Oh, how appropriate.”

“Indeed,” Ian scratched his eyebrow. “I think I’d prefer… Oh, Mari! Kon'nichiwa!”

“Jane! Antoinette! Hey there!” she approached to them waving her hand. Ian and Anthony winced when they heard female versions of their names. “No, guys. Get used to it. We’re in public now, so calling you by your real names would be at least strange. All right, are you ready?”

“No,” Ian squeaked.

“He’s moody today,” Anthony explained.

“I see. Right, here’s a plan: first of all, we’re going to get you some underwear, and then we’re choosing some clothes for you for the rest of the day.”

“The rest of– are you kidding?” Ian shouted. “I don’t need _that_ much clothes!”

“Relax, Jane,” Mari smiled. “It’s exhausting, but you’ll like it, I promise.”

 

“I hate it!” Ian exclaimed, grabbing a bag with his third new pair of jeans and a bunch of his and Anthony’s new T-shirts. “I hate it so much! When are we going home?”

“Stop whining, it’s just our fourth shop,” Mari grumbled and pointed at Anthony who headed to the next shop. “Look at Antoinette; she’s already dropped into it. Why can’t you?”

“It’s tiring as hell and isn’t enjoyable at all. I’ve already tried out as many outfits as never before! I can’t get it. How girls can be good with this hell? I was done when you forced me to try seventh bra.”

“Well, at least we know your size!”

“But why on Earth do I need 4 bras with _matching_ underwear?”

Mari looked at Ian as if she saw an alien instead of him.

“To feel pretty, beautiful and confident in it,” she stated.

Ian watched Anthony arguing with a sales clerk about the quantity of clothes he could bring with him in a dressing room.

“I can feel confident in anything what is not showing, it doesn’t need to have matching colours,” he mumbled. “And I am not going to show my underwear to anyone.”

“Even to her?” Mari asked smirking.

“Especially to her. Everything what happened yesterday has affected on me. I don’t think I’d ever feel confident in front of him in my underwear like I used to before.”

“Listen, Jane,” Mari put her hand on Ian’s shoulder. “I know it’s not my business and I won’t understand what you’ve gone through, but… I think that you’re too… I don’t know, depressed, maybe. You’re acting like you’ve lived in this body for years, but it’s just third day…”

“You’re not the first one who telling me it,” Ian smiled sadly.

“Exactly. Ian,” Ian shivered as he heard his real name. He couldn’t get used to his new name either, but something in calling him like that in public already felt wrong. “I need you to realise one thing. You can behave like that, but only when you’ll be desperate. You are not desperate now; you still have options to try in order to bring your body back. Look at Anthony.”

She looked at Anthony who was spinning around in front of full-length mirror wearing a ridiculous white dress with huge red poppies on the bottom. He spotted their gaze, waved his hand and stared at them as if asking whether this dress suits him well. Mari and Ian gave him thumbs up, and when he disappeared in the dressing room, she continued.

“He tries to see pros in that situation. He feels exactly like you but at least he’s trying to enjoy himself. But it seems like you’re not trying at all. That’s so wrong, man.”

“I know,” Ian whispered. “Remember when Anthony freaked out about Lasercorn and when I came into his room? He was crying. He was broken. I told him that he shouldn’t give up and we’ll make it. But now… I don’t even know if we make it and how we’re gonna do that.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you can hear yourself,” Mari giggled. “Can’t you see that he’s trying to be cheered up for you? You said him not to give up and immediately gave up yourself. You’re such a hypocrite! And idiot as well. Just try to follow your advice and everything will be easier. Now come, we should take Antoinette out of dressing room and save some money for shoes.”

 

“Right.”

Ian and Anthony were facing a huge mountain of bags with clothes instead of their coffee table. Brand names and crazy colours were ridiculously mixed up so it seemed that the whole bag hill had one solid indescribable colour. Ian kicked one bag and gulped when the construction collapsed immediately.

“Why have we bought so many clothes?”

Anthony shrugged, his eyes closed. He was half-sitting, half-lying on the couch and pretending to be dead. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at Ian exhaustedly.

“Because I don’t know why.”

He shifted his head towards Ian who was sitting beside him and rubbing his eyes.

“I don’t know what we’re gonna do with this when everything is back to normal.”

“Charity, maybe? Or we can use it in our videos. I don’t know. Don’t want to think about it now.”

Ian sighed and stood up. He felt immediately how he was exhausted and tried his best not to fall on the floor and fall asleep right there.

“Wanna try clothes once more?” Anthony chuckled.

“No! I’m gonna go sleep, I’m too tired. And… I think I’m not going to get out of my room tomorrow, I need some time for myself. Do you mind?” Ian yawned.

“No, that’s okay. Till… the day after tomorrow, I guess?”

“Yup. Have fun tomorrow!” He smiled and headed slowly to his bedroom.

“I’ll miss you,” Anthony smiled at his friend.

“Oh really? You’ll be shouting ‘Freedom!’ since you wake up, you bastard,” Ian chuckled weakly as he had no energy to burst out laughing. “Anyway, see you.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter includes fictional Twitter usernames. Any resemblance to real usernames is purely coincidental. I was coming up to them much longer than it took me to write this chapter.  
> Oh, and I also suck at geography.

It's been 3 weeks since Ian and Anthony became Jane and Antoinette. During this time Mari was teaching them how to be a woman. Guys were doing really great with this, and she was astonished, how she managed to make them not into tomboys, but ladies, at least, in public. Since they had practically nothing to do with Smosh, they played a lot of video games like they used to do in school days, filmed fake Smosh Is Bored and Lunchtime With Smosh only to place the footage into hidden folder and tried to come up with ideas to get their bodies back. The last one wasn't going well, because they had only one idea.

Anthony remembered that Perseids meteor shower is going to be soon. He started to prepare for the trip months beforehand. He got the route to the place where the shower would be best to watch. It was some place really far away from the city so no light pollution could spoil the spectacle he was going to enjoy for 3 days. But since he and Ian became girls, he thought that he can combine business and pleasure, so he decided to include Ian and David in his plans. When it was 2 days to the date of shower peak, he called Lasercorn.

“What's up?” he heard calm voice which made him angry, but he tried to suppress the rage.

“Hello, shooting star wisher. You're going with us.”

“Erm... Where?” David sounded very frightened. Anthony smiled.

“To the countryside. For 3 days. Leaving tonight,” he explained.

“What? Couldn't you say that earlier? I have plans, by the way!” Lasercorn yelled.

“I don't care. Cancel them. You're going with us. I'm not asking you, I force you.”

“Since when have you become such an asshole...” David whispered.

“About a month ago, when you wished me and Ian to be girls. Pack your stuff you need, I'll be waiting for you in a... 3 hours,” Anthony hung up before Lasercorn started protesting.

He put his phone on the table nearby and heard Ian laughing.

“Dude, you're such a dick!” Ian said. “If I hadn't known the reason, I'd have thought you're... a bad person at least.”

“Come on, I'm not that bad!” Anthony smiled. “And you know that!”

“I do,” Ian chuckled. “Right, let's eat some food!”

“What do we have today?” Anthony grabbed their flip camera and landed at the table.

“Since I've mastered how to cook waffles, we have...” Ian drummed on the counter, making a pause. “Waffles!”

“Oh god, not again,” Anthony complained laughing and started recording. “Hey, guys, it's another Lunchtime with Smosh you will never see! And today Jane made us waffles! Can you master something else? Pancakes would be perfect, you know.”

“Shut up!” Ian yelled like he did for Smosh video intros. “Eat what you're offered. Or don't eat at all.”

“As you can't see, Ian is trying hard to be a dick, but, let's be honest, he will never able to become one.”

“Why not?” Ian asked interestedly while he was preparing their dishes.

“You're too cute for that,” Anthony chuckled.

“Aww, you're touching my feelings,” Ian smiled. “But seriously, eat what you're given. I've tried hard to find and master vegan waffles recipe, so don't you dare complaining or you'll make your food on your own.”

Anthony grimaced to Ian when he put a plate with waffles in front of him and they filmed their first bites.

“Okay, I admit, these are perfect, but you still need to master something new,” Anthony noted and smiled when Ian growled in frustration.

“Thanks for compliment, at least.”

They fooled around on camera for some time completely forgetting about their food. By the time they stopped, Ian's ice cream melted and created a sticky mess around his half-eaten waffle. That fact disappointed Ian for a bit but he stopped to care about it soon.

“Hey, Antoinette, I believe it's time for something!” he exclaimed.

Anthony became overexcited and he began singing very fast.

“Finding old Twitter questions, finding old Twitter questions! Oh wow,” he gasped. “I think I broke my personal best.”

“Well,” Ian glanced on his phone as if checking his stopwatch. “No, you didn't. It took 0,1 second longer.”

“But... But I thought...” Anthony said in a little girl's voice and started to fake cry.

“Stop crying, little Anty,” Ian grinned. “I'll give you a popsicle.”

“Really?” Anthony's face brightened.

“NO!” Ian shouted and they both laughed.

Anthony started scrolling down the tag, choosing a questions.

“You know, it was like 2 weeks since we uploaded the last video we had, but they still asking us questions! Amusing,” he mumbled. “But there's still no good questions.”

“Just pick 3 first questions you see,” Ian suggested. “Nobody will see this footage anyway.”

“Legit,” Anthony shrugged. “Okay, @mimierty wants us to kiss each other.”

“Well, we tried,” Ian said, addressing to the camera. “It wasn't good.”

“Am I a bad kisser?” Anthony resented.

“Oh. So you liked that kiss?”

“Well... Not really...”

“Am I a bad kisser?”

“Touché. Right, @11_goodname... Well, it's a good username, though... asks: 'If one of you was a woman, would you date her?' Just... Why do they ask us about us as women and dating?”

“They always do that, and they did it since forever,” Ian answered and shoved the last bite of his waffles in his mouth.

“Really? Dating maybe, but women stuff?” Anthony doubted.

“They did. We answered some. You just don't remember. But now you're noticing that because you are a woman now,” Ian smiled. “It's a... an effect named after some dude, I don't remember. So, would you date me?”

Anthony gave an appraising look at Ian. He definitely liked his appearance as a girl, especially his delicate, smooth features and big bright blue eyes. But dating him?

“Well, no,” Anthony answered. “You're beautiful, but you're better as a best friend.”

“Oh, how nice of you!”

“You're welcome,” he smirked and continued with excessive pathos. “And now behold the last question! The person named @cothebella dared to ask us 'What is your favourite colour?'”

“I thought you're going to tell me some epic story about Valhalla or something,” Ian chuckled.

“I planned it first, but I changed my mind. Well, I'll answer this very original question originally. I like the blueish yellow colour.”

“That's green,” Ian clarified.

“No, that's not green at all.”

“Okay...” Ian said unsure. “And as for me, it's blue. Like my eyes!”

“Well, that's the most original reply.”

“Yep. All right, now our food is completed... Almost...” Ian pointed camera on Anthony's waffle leftovers. “What would you rate it?”

“I would rate it... 18 blueish yellow Valhallas out of 19.”

 

The heavy silence filled the car Ian, Anthony and Lazercorn were in on their way to the star-gazing place. Anthony was still mad on David. Even though he got used to his new body and started to feel somewhat comfortable with it, he couldn't accept the fact that David stole, how he thought, his entire life. Ian turned out to be more loyal to Lazercorn, although it was tough for him to accept this body as his own. Something broke in his mind the night before shopping day and he started suffering from a depression. Lucky for him, it wasn't deep, and Mari and Anthony helped him to recover.

As for Lazercorn, he was shocked. He couldn't even understand how this happened. That unfortunate night he was talking with his friend on the phone and staring at the clear sky. They were talking about David's job as a member of Smosh Games and eventually they ended up making fun of other members. As he said: “Hey, could you imagine Ian and Anthony as girls? It'd be hilarious, wouldn't it?”, he spotted a shooting star and smiled. He didn't believe that wishes on shooting stars would always come true, so when the next evening Mari announced that the guys did become girls, he was dumbfounded.

So there they were: a sad man, an angry man and a shocked man. 'It would be a great title for a western,' Ian thought and smiled. He was apart of the silence. At first he tried to break the ice by cracking a few jokes, but when it didn't work, he gave it up and enjoyed himself with checking his phone. It was much better than joining the other two. Anthony was clenching the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles became white. His angry look was on the road all the time. Ian was wondering how he was capable to obey the law and drive in acceptable speed limits. David was sitting on the back seat. One glance on him would be enough to see that he felt uncomfortable. A phone was in his hands but, unlike Ian, he just held it tightly. 'It's gonna be a long way,' Ian thought.

And he was right – the road took about 3 hours which felt like eternity. Anthony finally stopped his car.

“We've arrived.”

“And where are we?” Lazercorn asked. “It seems like we're in the middle of nowhere.”

“And you're right. Well, actually, we're near lake Tahoe.”

“Where?! Are you- Could you- Why did you bring us that far?”

“Because a) There's no light pollution, b) It's beautiful here,” Anthony answered and smiled.

Ian, still being indifferent to the whole situation, looked around.

“Okay. So we're here for 3 nights in the middle of nowhere. Just us and mother nature. Right?”

“Yup. But there's a problem...” Anthony scratched his neck. “We've got only two tents. That means that someone will share a tent. I think we should draw straws. The one who draws a short one sleeps in a separate tent. Who's in?”

David was the one who got a separate tent by the drawing results. They set their tents and made a fireplace not without arguing and after the discussion about their duties during these days they went into the tents and fell asleep. The main duty was to catch every shooting star and wish for only one thing: to get Ian and Anthony's bodies back.

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Morning, sunshine,” Ian smiled when he saw Anthony opening his eyes.

“What time is it?” Anthony mumbled and stretched.

“It's...” Ian glanced on his phone's screen. “It's a half past two. Sleep too long!”

“Shit, it's too early...” Anthony growled and sat.

“Early for what?”

“For stargazing, duh! I mean, I woke up too early. All three of us should be awake all night long.”

“Oh, yeah. Listen,” Ian gave Anthony a snack and sat near him. “Why are we here for three nights when we just could spend here only one?”

“Well... I've planned it months ago, you know. I thought that we could go somewhere to have some rest. Where no people would be around, just nature and falling stars. Everyone should be away of society from time to time.”

“You told me about that a week ago... What if we were in our normal state and I refused, what would you do then?”

“I'd go alone, I guess,” Anthony shrugged. “The only man I'd like to take a break from the others with is you.”

“That's so sweet,” Ian grinned. “So you wish Lazercorn hadn't come with us?”

“To be honest, yes. He's a nice guy, but he's 'the others'. However... We need him now. He's the one who caused this, after all. Maybe he's the one who can fix it. Okay, now get out of here and let me change.”

“Tell me what I didn't see!” Ian laughed and stood on his fours to leave.

“Oh, and by the way...” Anthony started, taking his sleep shirt off.

“What?” Ian turned his head.

“I have two things. First – I'm going for a walk in the woods. I shouldn’t be long. And the second-” Anthony smacked Ian's buttock. “Don't wave your butt in front of my face!”

“Oh... But what if I do that?” Ian started twerking. Anthony squealed and smacked him again trying to make Ian stop.

“Wow...”

Guys froze and looked toward tent's entrance. There was smiling Lazercorn's face.

“And I didn't believe Mari when she said that Ianthony is real,” he giggled.

“It isn't!!!” Ian and Anthony shouted in unison.

“Yeah, right,” David grinned and disappeared.

“Well... Shit,” Ian mumbled. “And it's your fault! You've begun this!”

“Who? Me?!” Anthony yelled indignantly. “It's you who's to blame! You waved your ass back and forth in front of me!”

“Oh, I'm sorry I hadn't enough space here!”

“I wish it was raining and there was a mud pool...” David popped in again. “This would be spectacular...”

“Shut up!!!”

 

“Where the hell is Antoinette?” David asked, setting the fire.

“I told you, he went into the woods for a walk,” Ian said with slightly annoyed voice. He was lying on the top of a huge rock with his eyes closed.

“Yeah, but you said she won't be long. It's getting dark now, actually.”

Ian opened his eyes and turned his head towards Lazercorn.

“So you think he got lost there?”

“Well, maybe. It's been a few hours already since she left.”

“Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!” Ian jumped off the rock so fast that nearly twisted his ankle. “We should go and find him before it's too late!”

“Don't rush, maybe she'll come back soon,” Lazercorn suggested but Ian interrupted him.

“If so, he'd already be here! But he's there, all alone, in the forest! Scared! And there can be wild hungry animals!”

“Wait, Jane, you're exaggerating-”

“We. Should. Go. Search. For. Him. Right. Now!” Ian shouted.

“Okay. Go then,” David shrugged.

“And you?” Ian asked discouraged.

“Well, someone should be here to protect the stuff.”

“Legit. Give me the flash-light.”

When Ian got a flash-light, he ran into the woods, screaming Anthony's name as loud as he could. David watched him and when he disappeared, he started to set fire again. Fifteen minutes later Lazercorn heard a familiar voice and turned around to see the source. He saw Anthony approaching their camp. Alone.

“Sorry for being away so long,” Anthony apologised when he came to fire.

“Yeah... Better save it for Jane,” David chuckled.

“Uh, okay... By the way, where's he?” Anthony asked, looking around.

“She thought that you got lost so she went looking for you.”

Anthony stared at David numb for a couple of seconds. His eyes got wider and wider with a realisation of the words he heard.

“He... He did what?!” he finally exploded. “Why didn't you stop him?!”

“Well, I tried,” Lazercorn answered, shocked with the reaction.

“You should've tried more! Oh fuck... He can get lost in broad daylight, didn't you know that?!” Anthony began to panic. “When did he go?”

“About fifteen minutes ago, I guess...” David mumbled.

“Oh shit, I hope he hasn't gone too far...” Anthony jumped on his legs and ran in his tent.

“Antoinette, are you gonna-”

“Yes! You stay here and watch our stuff, I hope I'll find this dumbass soon.”

“Ah, if it isn't love, I don't know how to call it.” David joked and earned Anthony's burning look.

“It's called friendship!!!” Anthony yelled and ran into the forest.

“It's gonna be fun,” David sighed.

 

With a fall of twilight, the forest became dark and scary. It was more like the great set for a horror film.

“Ian!”

Anthony waded through the woods, searching for his friend. It wasn't as fun as it was when he was walking though it and enjoying every second. He wasn't relaxed, and all his senses were tuned for searching. He listened to every rustle, watched every shadow.

“Ian!!! Ian, where are you?”

“Here!”

Anthony's heart jumped in joy when he heard a familiar voice, but he couldn't detect the source.

“Where?”

“Look up!”

Anthony slowly raised his head with a light of a flash-light and saw Ian lying on a tree branch, hugging it tightly. When their gazes met, Ian grinned and waved his hand.

“Hi...”

“How the hell did you manage to climb there?” Anthony asked and crossed his arms.

“I... I don't know, I just went there, and there was a beast, and I ran, and I'm here...” Ian tried to explain. Anthony sighed and smiled. “And... Can you help me to go down?”

“Sometimes I think that you're only five years old,” Anthony chuckled.

“Someone smart said that there's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. So can you? Please?”

When the rescue operation, in which Ian got off with a slight bruise on his hip, was over, Ian and Anthony led their way to their camp. Lucky for them, Anthony knew where they should go.

“Just tell me, why on Earth did you think that it'd be a good idea to look for me?” Anthony asked.

“I just worried about you,” Ian mumbled. “It was getting dark, but you were away, so I thought that you got lost...”

“Yeah, but why you? I mean, we both know how 'perfect',” Anthony drew quote marks in the air, “you can orientate.” Ian laughed.

“Because I panicked. I thought I can lose you forever and I was terrified.”

“Remember – whatever happens with us, we'll always be together. We'll never lose each other. Understand?” Anthony looked at Ian and smiled.

“Yeah. Thank you,” Ian gave Anthony a side hug.

 

“The night has fallen, which means that the event I brought you here for is beginning!” Anthony announced excitedly. “Tonight's the peak of Perseids meteor shower and it's gonna be awesome!”

“I hope that it was worth cancelling of all plans,” David groaned.

“I'm sorry, but you should be here. You made us like that, so now it's time to unmade. And that's a perfect opportunity! Plus, it's the most beautiful thing in the world,” Anthony sat between Ian and Lazercorn. “So, it's time. Eyes up, catch the stars and make the wish.”

“Actually...” Ian whispered. “You were right. This is amazing...”

“Told you,” Anthony smiled and felt his left hand was taken. He turned his head to the left and saw Ian's smiling face.

“Thank you. For everything.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Seriously, it's not even fair!” Anthony yelled, indignantly. “3 nights, and what for?!”

“For meteor shower, I guess...” Ian answered.

“Well, yeah, but... It was such an opportunity!” Anthony wrung his hands. “Tons of shooting stars! For what? We are still freaking girls!”

“I know. It's awful, but we shouldn't despair...” Ian tapped his friend's shoulder, trying to calm him down.

“How can you not? It was our last hope! And there's none now!”

“There is hope. I've got an idea, maybe it'll work,” Ian muttered. “However, it's really dangerous-”

“Who cares, everything counts!” Anthony shouted and got up quickly. Ian saw a hope burning in his previously lifeless eyes. “What is it? What should we do?”

“For now, just wait,” Ian smiled. “And find as many metal things as we can carry.”

 

It was another hot night. The air was stuffy and barely breathable. It was really hard to fall asleep with the weather like that. Anthony was lying in his bed groaning and stirring. He was suffering from the suffocating heat and pain in his abdomen.

“Ian! Ian, come here, please...”

The pain was nearly unbearable. Anthony felt like something in his abdomen intertwined and ripped.

“Ian! Ian, please!..”

His voice sounded like he was about to cry. He scratched his skin trying to distract himself of the pain but it was completely useless.

“Ian!”

Anthony started sobbing. He curled in a ball from the pain, but it didn't help either. Finally he heard heavy steps in the hallway and soon after sleepy Ian appeared in his doorway.

“What?”

“Ian...” Anthony sobbed out. “Ian, I'm dying...”

“What?!” Ian rushed up to Anthony's bed and knelt down. “What is it, what happened?”

“I... don't know... It hurts like bitch,” Anthony whimpered. “I... I can't... Do we have any pain-killers?”

“Yes, I'll be right back!” Ian ran out of the room and moments later he came back with pain-killers and a glass of water. “Here, take two of these.”

Anthony obeyed Ian and curled back in the ball.

“I wonder how fast it'll have an effect...”

“I don't know, half an hour, maybe?”

Anthony moaned in pain loudly.

“I'll die sooner! Ian, promise me, if I die-”

“Stop saying this!” Ian interrupted him. “Maybe I should call 911?”

“I don't know...” Anthony buried his face in a pillow.

“All right, if these pills don't work, I'm calling 911. Now just try to relax.”

“I'm trying... Ian, am I gonna die?” Anthony asked quietly.

“Don't be such a drama queen. You won't die, I promise,” Ian reassured Anthony and put a hand on his arm. “Now close your eyes and try to fall asleep. If you can't do it in a half an hour, call me, okay?”

“Okay...”

 

“What the...?”

Ian woke up, hearing Anthony swearing loudly and groaned. It was already light in his room. Ian slowly got up and went out of his room. He heard Anthony's muttering and swearing from the bathroom.

“Anthony?” Ian knocked the door.

“Um... Hey. I've got a problem here...” Anthony answered, not opening the door. “Can you... Erm...”

“What happened?” Ian asked, concerned.

“Well... A period.”

“Oh.”

“Do we have... anything for these... occasions?” Anthony asked. “I checked here, there's nothing...”

“I don't think we have... Wait, I'll go buy it. Be right back,” Ian went to his room to dress up and bring his wallet and phone.

“Thanks, man!”

On his way to the shop, Ian called Mari.

“Hey, Jane!” he heard Mari's cheerful voice. “What's up?”

“Listen, I've got a question for you... About...” Ian hesitated.

“About what?” Mari asked, puzzled.

“Well... Antoinette has... commas.” said Ian doubtfully. 

“Wh- what do you mean?”

“Um... She... She got red alert...”

“Okay, I get it,” Mari interrupted him. “How is she?”

“She was dying of pain last night,” Ian sighed. “I think it's far from okay.”

“Actually... Cramps could be very painful,” Mari said. “And cramps are normal. Almost everyone has it during these days.”

“So I'll be dying of pain too when I've got this?” Ian asked in horror.

“You may or may not, I don't know. It depends, you know.”

“Depends of what?”

“Listen, the fact that I'm a woman doesn't mean that I know everything, okay?” Mari flared. “Women are not clones, they're very different.”

“I'm sorry, I just... I'm scared. You didn't see Anthony last night, I really thought that he was dying. I'm scared for him and for me,” Ian sighed sadly.

“That's okay. Just keep heating pad and some pain-killers somewhere near, and it'll be easier to go through this,” Mari tried to cheer Ian up.

“Thanks, Mari!” Ian smiled.

 

“Hey, are you alive?” Ian asked loudly, entering the house.

“Yes, for now. Why have you been so long?” Anthony came slowly to meet Ian.

“Lines,” Ian shrugged. “Everyone needed to go to the store exactly at the same time for some reason. Here,” he gave Anthony a bag. “There's some pads and a heating pad. Mari said that it helps.”

“You called Mari?”

“Yeah,” Ian nodded. “By the way, she said that the cramps were absolutely normal.”

“Normal? Wow. If women are suffering from this every month... I'm astonished. They're really badass then,” Anthony mumbled and went slowly towards the bathroom.

“Well, now I see why did you afraid of periods so much,” Ian whispered and fell down on the couch. “Now I'm afraid of it too...”

 

It was another boring evening. Ian and Anthony was watching TV. Anthony barely knew what they were watching, he lay down on the couch with his head on Ian's laps and holding a heating pad on his abdomen. Pain-killer he took earlier that day stopped giving an effect, but the pain wasn't too intense to take another pill. Suddenly the sky got dark and Ian heard a distant concussion of thunder step ping  closer.

“Anthony, do you remember when I told you about the idea how to get our bodies back?” Ian asked. “I think, the time has come.”

“Dude, I'm like dying here, okay?” Anthony moaned.

“So you prefer to be Antoinette, right?” Ian looked at his friend suspiciously.

“Goddamn it... What was your plan?” Anthony growled.

“Do you hear the thunder? I thought that if the lightning stroke us, we could-”

“What?!” Anthony shouted. “Are you crazy?! We can only be killed!”

“I said that this is really dangerous! But... What if it can really help?..” Ian asked hopefully.

“I don't know what do I want more – to be a man again or to be alive...” Anthony sighed when the heavy rain started pouring.

“All right, I get it. Let's stay home.” 

I an stared at the screen again. A quite muttering of TV was barely audible because of the pounding of the rain. Somewhere the lightning flared and the house drowned in the dark.

“Great,” Ian hissed. “What are we gonna do?”

“I thought... Let's try this lightning catching thing,” Anthony said hesitantly. 

“Are you sure?” Ian's eyes widened in surprise.

“Yes. I mean... Maybe this is our last chance? We should use it...”

“Okay...” Ian got up and went to the closet where he kept some metal things for this occasion. “Then get up and bring everything metal you can carry. Leave one hand free to hold my hand. And when we go outside, take your shoes off to reassure earthing contact. It may save us.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Anthony chuckled.

“Well, I have plenty of time to think about that.”

Minutes after Ian and Anthony stood under pouring rain barefoot and holding hands. 

“You know,” Anthony shouted. “If we didn't hold these things, it could be some scene from a chick flick.”

“Yeah, right,” Ian answered and shuddered when the thunder roared. “But I start to think that this is very bad idea. Let's go home!”

“No. This is our chance!” Anthony squeezed Ian's hand.

“I hope we won't die,” Ian murmured and shut his eyes. Suddenly he heard Anthony screaming and a moment later he felt very sharp pain going through all his body and blacked out.

 

Anthony woke up and tried to open his eyes. The light was very bright, and Anthony winced.

“Antoinette!” he heard a girl's voice and growled.

“Am I in heaven?”

“No, you're alive!”

He opened his eyes and blinked a few times to adapt.  There were Mari and Jovenshire.

“Where am I?” he asked.

“You're in hospital,” Joven answered. “Who did come up with this brilliant idea?”

“Ian... Where is he?”

“Here, still unconscious,” Mari sighed. “It's a miracle you both alive, you know. This was so stupid of you two. Why did you do that?”

“We wanted our bodies back...” Anthony mumbled. “Did it work?”

“I hate to say that, but no, it didn't,” Joshua shook his head. “Right, I'll go tell the others that one of our storm girls woke up.”

“So now we're officially hopeless,” Anthony sighed and hid his face in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of the ideas, so I don't know when I come up with the next chapter. Feel free to give me some suggestions, I'll appreciate that.  
> Love you all!


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